As an alumni, when you see the article on
drexeldragons.com presenting you with the information that
a new class of recruits has just been secured for the 2011 season, it should make you feel excited. Excited to see what these new young guns can do, excited that the program is moving forward and bringing in new talented unsuspecting suburban-raised athletes to charming "Gunshots reported on 36th & Powelton" University City. Instead, it makes you just feel... well, just old.
Like old because the
"archives page" on the men's soccer website goes way back.. to the year you started school at Drexel... as old as someone who was still born in the 80's... who actually knows why the hell there's a Pink Pony in the training room... and appreciates the true meaning of "There ya go", "Readyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy GO!", "Defend the Throw", "Duck Soup", "Getch ur rrrat-tout", and "Bring your lunch pails!"... Old like when it was still called the Philadelphia Soccer 7, not 6... Old like someone who's seen a bus driver try to pronounce "Athletic Fields" 3 times and fail miserably "Athleuuuuuu, Athleuuuuuu, Athleuuuuuu" before Woody jumps in and screams "We're going to the Soccer Fields!!"... Old enough to know that Terry is the man, and that's all there is to it... and that moving cars out of the way to get a bus through a crowded Boston street is a great way to get a lawsuit... that 7 1/2 bowls is exactly what it takes to win the Never Ending Pasta Bowl Championship... and old like someone who will still laugh at you when you say that you "saw an hot girl on Drexel's campus the other day."... Old like someone who doesn't know where to find the Unified Sciences Building, Law School, Race Street Dorm or Millennium Dorm... but who used to eat pre-game meals at Drexel Pizza, with no Chesee! Old enough to have seen Thiago actually play in a real soccer game.... someone to whom the phrase "French toast or pancakes" produces Vietnam like flashbacks, and who now eats breakfast sausages every single chance they get... someone who still smells like bread sticks from Olive Garden, despite not having eaten there for nearly 3 years... someone who looked forward to a team bowling trip as an exciting break from pre-season.... and who has seen a man named Francis crush a full grown lion's skull with his bare hands. Old certainly, like someone who went to soccer parties at Ray's house, when it still existed!... and "Stormed in the Dorm"... who drank "Sunny-V" out of a camel pack while roller-blading to parties... used their Drexel ID id to get into Goodfellas & Mar-Bar instead of Blockley-Whorehouse... someone old enough to know the lyrics to the drinking song "There's only one Lew Meehl"... and to know that all of them are much too inappropriate, even to be listed here... Like old enough to know that it takes no less than 6 consecutive wins to start off the season, to break a man from a lifelong habit of abusing his wife.
If you got even 1/3 of those jokes, or even made it all the way through without having to stop and rub your eyes, you feel that old too... But you can also feel excited that
Doug and
Greeny seem to be bringing in another solid recruiting class.
So here's what you missed... Happy New Year everyone! Who would have thought that a gem like this could possibly go over a year without being noticed!? It's probably more likely that we'll get to see Halley's Comet come soaring by before a photo like this one surfaces again. Nevertheless, here he is in all his glory. Cory "Baby Face" Rohlfsen. You may remember him from the Senior Tribute blog post from late November 2010. Or at least from his brief acting stint as Macaulay Culkin's stunt double... (He didn't get picked for the real part because he was over dramatic in his audition). Either way our second favorite Nebraska native never ceases to amaze. This might actually be the single funniest photograph I have ever seen I my life. I really don't have much else to say than that... shocking I know... but all I wanted to do was make sure I shared this comedic gift from god with the wonderful world of The Ineligibles, mission accomplished. 
